Flight Interrupted
by Sarah1281
Summary: Isabela is halfway to Ostwick and not feeling even remotely guilty. Nope, not at all. She's just going to take the relic, get Castillon off her back, find a new ship and...oh, who is she kidding? This is all Hawke's fault.


Flight Interrupted

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age.

Isabela was most definitely _not_ feeling guilty. At all. There was nothing to be guilty _about_. She had told Hawke from the start that she needed the relic, after all. And it wasn't even like she just wanted it for the infamy or the challenge; she _needed_ it or Castillon would have her head.

Some days, Isabela thought that Castillon had never really expected her to successfully retrieve the relic (if he had any plans of seriously obtaining it, why would he send the smugger that had just proven herself untrustworthy?) and he'd just been waiting for her to get herself captured or killed or, failing that, kill her himself for failing him. That said, if she really managed to pull it off then he'd have to forgive her for that ill-planned impromptu heroic stunt she'd pulled.

Isabela had never been a hero for several very good reasons. Heroes were supposed to either be celibate or only sleep with that one 'special someone' (who was usually a dreadful bore)…and even that was frowned upon until marriage. Please. Isabela had tried marriage once and it hadn't worked out so she would do as she damned well please. Heroes were also called upon in a crisis – such as, say, a qunari invasion – which really didn't do much for the hero in question's life expectancy. And then there was the fact that if the hero failed it was _all their fault_ despite the fact that no one else had managed to do anything about it either. And then there was the fact that heroes were often expected to have nothing but the highest moral fiber and that was another way of saying they would fit in with the Chantry sisters. Well, except for the widespread death and destruction that was involved with heroing.

Hawke was a hero. She didn't quite have the right vocabulary for it (Isabela and Varric thought she was funny even if no one else did) but she did live an unreasonably selfless and virtuous life and she had been hung up on the same person for three full years now. Isabela supposed she could understand still having feelings for someone – her own for a certain someone had never completely faded, after all – but staying chaste while waiting for them? As if. Isabela was only glad it hadn't been her that Hawke had chosen to fixate on. While Hawke was very cute, Isabela just didn't think all those expectations of a relationship once they finally slept together would have been even remotely worth it.

Hawke was a hero and Isabela was not.

That was why she still didn't quite understand what had possessed her to go against Castillon in the first place. Yes, yes, all those Blight refugees were going to be sold into slavery but why was that her concern? She wasn't getting paid to save the day and now she was living on borrowed time. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time but…well, how exactly had that turned out? The would-be slaves were hopefully okay (or it would have been an even worse decision) but it had caused Isabela no end of trouble.

She really wasn't cut out for this hero thing. She had known that before setting the refugees free and that had just confirmed it for her.

So what was the problem? Hawke knew that Isabela needed the relic and why. Hawke had offered to help her retrieve it years ago. Hawke had, in fact, helped her take it mere hours ago. Hawke had even said that she'd let her keep it so it wasn't like if she'd stayed anything with the qunari would have changed. And even if she probably could have ended the invasion by simply giving the relic back, where would that leave her? High and dry once again and if Castillon found out that she had reclaimed the relic only to return it to the qunari…Isabela didn't want to think about just how little her life would be worth.

If she kept moving then she might be able to reach Ostwick by sunset. From there, she could find Castillon, delver the relic, and finally move on with her life. She might even be able to get a ship out of the bargain and finally get back where she belonged: the open seas. Being on land too long always made Isabela feel _wrong_ somehow, like she'd be trapped there forever. She had had to put up with that for three years and had genuinely began to fear that maybe that would never change. But now…now she had a chance to fix everything.

This was far better than she'd ever hoped for. And Hawke had even said she could take it.

So why was it that she couldn't get the sight of Hawke's solemn face as she promised to help her out of her mind? Why couldn't she forget about the sights of the terrified populace of Kirkwall as the qunari invasion began? Why did retrieving the relic not make her feel half as satisfied as by all right it should?

She might not have told anyone she was leaving but she'd left a note! They knew what she'd done and they'd known she was going to do it, just not that abruptly. Maker, if it wasn't the slave incident all over again. It had done her no good then and it would do her no good now. She kept telling herself that but it was doing no good.

It was all Hawke's fault, she knew. Somehow, after spending three years with the woman some of her virtue had somehow seeped into Isabela and given her – dare she say it – a _conscience_. If she stayed away then even if Hawke did manage to save the day, a lot of people would still die. It wasn't like Isabela had had any idea what she was doing when she stole the relic in the first place so there was little point in holding herself responsible for that but just the same…if she had returned it to the qunari once she had it again…maybe she'd die at the hands of Castillon or his minions, maybe not. She'd always been very resourceful, after all.

If she went back, she _might_ face her own death and it was entirely possible that she wouldn't do it alone. Hawke seemed rather stupidly determined to jump between each and every one of her friends and their own problems no matter how little they actually deserved it. Hawke was the first person she'd been able to call friend in more years than she cared to remember. Hawke needed her right now and she'd absconded with the relic.

If she went back, she might be able to save the day. Maker help her, she was getting soft in her slightly-older age.

Abruptly, Isabela turned around and started to make her way back to Kirkwall. She knew she'd end up regretting this but staying away would surely drive her mad.

The one thing she _did_ know was that this was all Hawke's fault for somehow managing to give her the most unwelcome gift she'd ever received: a Maker-damned _conscience. _

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